Take a moment to think about how many true, deep friendships you have in your life. Most likely, your spouse is one. But after that, how many friends could you call at 2 a.m. to share that you’re struggling or just won the lottery?
I recently read a book by Arthur Brooks on happiness, and one concept hit home: the distinction between real friends and deal friends. Real friends care about you and value your existence beyond any professional benefit. Deal friends, conversely, are relationships based on mutual utility—transactional connections tied to business.
In one of Brooks’ videos, he highlights how easily we neglect real friends in favor of deal friends, urging us to prioritize what matters most. Committing to real friends is hard when you have work, family, and soccer games filling up your weekends. You keep telling yourself that real friends will always be there, but what if you stop being real friends and become that person you used to be close with?
Inspired by Brooks' videos and book, I recently flew to Washington, D.C., to have dinner with a college friend I hadn’t seen in years. Yes, the trip cost money and my wife had to juggle work and kids, but the time we spent together was priceless. We could’ve kept texting, waiting for a “better” time, but deep down, I knew that time wouldn’t come without a concerted effort. I am not sure when I will see this friend again, but I feel closer to him after spending a night catching-up over food and drink. The experience reminded me that investing in real connections pays dividends far greater than any financial cost.
Now, how does this relate to business leaders? It’s simple: we’re constantly juggling endless responsibilities, believing we can do everything. But here’s the truth: we can’t. True success lies in focus and prioritization. Realize the value of excelling at three things rather than muddling through them. This principle applies to every aspect of life—friendships, projects, family, health, and leadership.
So, here’s my challenge: commit to what truly matters and what makes you happy in life. I mean really happy—not the fleeting, superficial kind, but the deep, lasting fulfillment that comes from investing in meaningful relationships and priorities. Stop multitasking, stop postponing, and start showing up for the people who enrich your life.
If you’re waiting for the “perfect” time to reconnect with someone important or start making a change in your life, let me save you the trouble: it doesn’t exist. Life’s demands will never pause long enough for you to feel ready, so take the first step now. A simple call, a short trip, or even a heartfelt message can rekindle those connections and bring more joy to your life than you might expect.
One of my 2025 goals is to do less to accomplish more. This means cutting the clutter and focusing on what counts, what moves the needle, and what pays the biggest dividend down the road, not today. Reconnect with that friend you’ve been meaning to see but haven’t. Make time for family dinners, moments of reflection, and the pursuits that bring true satisfaction.
In a world full of deal friends, choose to prioritize the ones who’ll still be there long after the deals are done. In the end, real fulfillment isn’t about closing the next big business transaction—it’s about the people who stand by your side through every success and setback.
Here’s to choosing quality over quantity, both in life and business. Let’s make 2025 the year we commit to what truly matters.
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